Written by Valiant Living Recovery on Wednesday, January 8th, 2020
Healthy relationships are similar to the concept of not being able to take care of other people if you are not taking care of yourself first and foremost. If you do not have a healthy relationship with yourself, your relationships with others are sure to be only surface level and unmeaningful. Problems that occur from personal relationships stem from the problems that are part of your own inner turmoil which every human endures.
Loving oneself is difficult for some people to accept. Whether you grew up in a broken home or have not resolved the dysfunction you faced in family relationships, how you formulated your earliest relationships can set the standard in how you will treat yourself and eventually others.
The most important human relationship you can ever master is the one with yourself which ironically is difficult for many people to discern, especially for someone in recovery. Due to the incomprehensible demoralization that occurs when someone is in the throes of their addiction, they learn to loathe themselves from the inside out. The good news about being in recovery is that there is a way out of the self aversion that you have developed. There are tools that you can use to learn how to love yourself and also learn how to genuinely love others in the process.
If you are struggling to like yourself due to some of your past transgressions, therapy is a great way to process what you are feeling with someone who can explain what it all means. Using holistic therapy can also help pull out all the negativity to be replaced with compassion and love for yourself.
Drugs and alcohol can stunt your emotional progress and make you blame others for your wrongdoings. Putting effort into learning your character defects and your patterns in dealing with relationships can help you to change your thinking and behavior to healthier mannerisms. The 12-Steps are designed to help you see your part in all scenarios so that you move forward in sobriety with freedom from self-bondage.
Taking care of yourself on the daily is extremely important. Making sure you are sleeping, eating healthy, drinking water, exercising, meditating, and implementing relaxation methods can make the difference in how you feel which can directly impact how you treat others. When you feel good, your contentment can be passed onto others.
One of the mainstays of sobriety is not only maintaining sobriety but also maintaining emotional sobriety. Making sure that you stay sober, helpful, and considerate no matter what anyone says or does is imperative. Part of your emotional sobriety means that while you are trying to be kind to others, you must also try to be kind to yourself. How you treat yourself will directly relate to how you treat others and kindness is always the best route for everyone involved.
You are who you surround yourself with. Hang with people who have the same goals that you do like staying sober and having healthy relationships. Being around people who have what you want for yourself gives you a front-row seat of how to accomplish those goals. Paying attention to people who will lead the way for you can assist in growing your self- confidence.
Whatever you are saying to yourself should be positive. Putting unrealistic expectations and being hard on yourself will filter out to your loved ones, co-workers, and friends. Instead of having a connection based on loving-kindness with others, you could express the judgment you have for yourself inadvertently onto others. Start saying positive affirmations to yourself or using a meditation that will say them for you. You deserve to be healthy and it all starts with your internal dialogue.
The person you are around the most is you. Getting you healthy will be the greatest factor in having healthy relationships as a whole.
Offering a full range of recovery and mental health services, Valiant Living offers “Expanded Recovery” to enrich our clients’ lives in mind, body, and spirit. Through evidence-based therapy options and the endless adventure of Colorado, Valiant fosters connection, encouraging clients to get connected to themselves, their peers, their families, and their higher power. With the power of recovery, clients are restored to full health and experience life-changing healing. Call us today for more information: 303-536-5463