Valiant Living Blog

What You Should Look for in a Sponsor

Written by Valiant Living Recovery on Thursday, February 27th, 2020

Whether you are looking for a sponsor or have been asked to sponsor someone else, there is much to do to live up to this recovery moniker. A sponsor is someone who is there to guide you through the 12-Steps, show you how to live a principled life, and teach you how to connect to a Higher Power so that you can stay sober for the long haul. 

Many people are often misguided in thinking that a sponsor could be their best friend, an autocrat, or take on a parental semblance. Although some people might need these different types of roles to help them get sober, sometimes the sponsor may act in these positions because that is how they were sponsored. Finding the right type of sponsorship for your recovery is important to carefully consider, especially since your sobriety is so precious to your well-being.  

They have what you want.

You may hear this phrase from time to time in the 12-Step rooms without understanding its true meaning. This does not relate to the material things but more so to the program they work, the example they set, and the spirituality they exude. If you want to become a better, sober version of yourself, pick someone whose life you want to emulate and then follow suit. Do what they do until you learn how to stay sober.

They know what they are talking about.

To be informed by someone else, they must be informed themselves. Finding someone who has put some time and effort into working their program to the best of their ability can give you an understanding of what sobriety is all about. Hands-on experience is important to gain the knowledge needed to sponsor. They might not have ever sponsored before, but that does not mean they should be overlooked. Someone who has the passion to help you stay sober will be thoughtful with their words so they can relay their experience to you in a way that will aid in your recovery.   

They walk the walk.

People in 12-Step programs are known to engage in windy conversations to show others know they can talk the talk. What you should gravitate towards is those who actually walk the walk. You want someone who is proactively working the 12-Steps and implementing them into their daily life. As you work through the 12-Steps, you will gain more tools to help you cope with your sobriety and help you to cope with life on life’s terms as it comes up. The steps give you an ability to get through situations and circumstances that used to baffle you and still remain sober.  

They practice the principles. 

Finding a person who has stopped drinking and using is obviously key, but so is their level of emotional sobriety. Understanding what the principles are and how to use them to your advantage is a win-win for you to stay sober. Integrity, Honesty, and Willingness are just a few of the principles that can improve your life once you start carrying them out in your decisions and into your relationships. 

They go to meetings.

In order to find a sponsor, you need to see them in meetings first which is a great sign that they want their sobriety. Meetings are where you can hear people share and allow you to relate. The more meetings you go to, the better your chances are to hear your story being told and then finding the solution to combat your addiction. Becoming part of the fellowship is a beneficial part of recovery because you need others to lead the way. 

They are of service to others. 

The cornerstone of all recovery is being there for one another. You can trust someone more when you know you have both suffered from a common peril. One sober person helping another sober person is the crux of how everyone stays sober. There are many ways to be of service, including sponsoring someone. Before they start sponsoring you, however, you want to see them taking commitments and putting their hand out to someone in the program who needs support. 

Some people say that no one should sponsor until they have completed the 12-Steps in their entirety. Others have the opinion that if you are asked, you should no doubt be of service even if you only have one day ahead of them. Whatever the case may be for you, just find someone who you relate to and connect to because sponsorship is one of the best lifelines to staying sober. You were not meant to go through your recovery alone and finding a sponsor may be the beginning of the healthiest and most sober relationship you have ever had. 

Offering a full range of recovery and mental health services, Valiant Living offers “Expanded Recovery” to enrich our clients’ lives in mind, body, and spirit. Through evidence-based therapy options and the endless adventure of Colorado, Valiant fosters connection, encouraging clients to get connected to themselves, their peers, their families, and their higher power. With the power of recovery, clients are restored to full health and experience life-changing healing. Call us today for more information: 303-536-5463