Valiant Living Blog

Confronting Your Partner About Their Addiction

Written by Valiant Living Recovery on Thursday, December 10th, 2020

When a spouse or partner develops an addiction, it affects both people in the relationship. While the addicted person may suffer a great deal, the brunt of their addiction lands squarely on the people around them. Neither person may know what to do, complicating the situation, and increasing the odds that the relationship may not survive the problem of substance or alcohol abuse. 

Do Your Research First

Before speaking to your partner, decide what outcome you hope for and how to achieve it. If you want them to attend a 12-step type meeting, prepare a list of the nearest ones. If you feel they should enter a detoxification or residential program, research available ones in the area and ask a trusted professional about the programs. Maybe your therapist or doctor. Consider your partner’s needs and be prepared to discuss certain specifics of how the program works.

Confronting Your Partner

Choose a time to talk to your loved one when they are not under the influence. Speak to them in a calm but firm voice and state the facts. Provide details like how long their addiction or alcoholism has been going on and specific ways in which it has negatively impacted your relationship. If they try to say they don’t indulge their addiction that often or it isn’t affecting the two of you as a couple, make it clear you are not inviting them to debate.

Other family members may be in denial or embarrassed to have their loved one enter a treatment program. Remind them that you are in a unique position to understand the impact substance or alcohol abuse has had on your relationship, and the decision about what to do is not something everyone gets to vote on. Give your partner a little space to think about what you’ve said, but let them know that, ultimately, no relationship can survive an out-of-control addiction. You both have to come to terms with what happens next.

When addiction or alcoholism impacts a marriage or relationship, it is often left to the sober person to confront their partner about the problem. Doing research about treatment options and firmly stating your position are essential ways to convince the one you love to seek help. Our male-only treatment programs near Denver can teach your partner how to embrace sobriety and return home a changed person. Valiant Living also treats co-occurring mental illnesses, as well as helps couples overcome broken relationships and infidelity. Call us today to find out how we can help you meet your goals! (303) 952-5035.