Forming romantic relationships after addiction can be a challenge. You may struggle with lower self-esteem even in sobriety or just feel uncomfortable bringing up your past in a “getting to know you” setting. It is okay to feel uncomfortable when meeting new people after going through something so traumatic.
With Valentine’s Day around the corner, it is natural to feel lonely if you are single and struggling to meet someone that’s the right fit for you. If you are ready to try to start dating, here’s some advice to guide your search.
Rid Yourself of the Guilt
After a struggle with addiction, you may feel a sense of shame or guilt. You may feel as though you’ve let friends or family down — or worse still — that you’ve been disingenuous to yourself. Do not let these negative emotions overburden you. Everyone makes mistakes in life and the most admirable people are the ones who are willing to admit to their shortcomings and seek improvement. By making a commitment to sobriety, you are taking that difficult first step to a more stable life that many people never reach.
Be Proud of Your Accomplishments
If you are trying to overcome something as traumatic as addiction, you are a hero. You are choosing to prioritize your health and lead a sober life. We cannot think of a better representation of an ideal partner other than someone focused on personal betterment like yourself.
The Right Person is Seeking You Too
Don’t worry too much about what your date thinks of you. Focus on your assessment of the possible partner. Remember that you have choices! Try not to feel desperate while dating by carefully considering the pros and cons of each individual you encounter. That approach is fair to yourself and the other person.
Dating in recovery is not going to be easy, but it is worth trying to get yourself comfortable with the idea of sharing your life and struggles with someone else. Expanding your support is a healthy choice. Remember that you get to decide when and how you share your recovery with a possible partner. Prioritize your own healing over anyone else’s and the right people will come —- perhaps when you least expect it.
Making the decision to date while in recovery is up to you. You should not feel pressured either way, but also be careful not to close yourself off due to fear of rejection, guilt, or shame associated with your prior addiction. At Valiant Living, our treatment facility based in Denver, Colorado, you can take on life’s challenges with more security. We help men recover from addiction in our eight-bed residential facility which offers both inpatient and outpatient services. We also focus on forming healthy intimate relationships and can help you decide when to date again and what is the best approach to romance during your recovery. With Valentine’s Day around the corner, the topic might be on your mind. Remember to rid yourself of guilt, focus on your accomplishments, and realize the right person is seeking you just as much as you are seeking them. To learn more about our services, you can contact us at (303) 952-5035.