In order for your sobriety to stay intact, boundary-setting must be a part of the equation in your recovery program. You may be squirming just thinking about setting boundaries because you would do anything to avoid confrontation and you are unsure how to set a boundary anyway. Boundaries probably make you feel uncomfortable which is a misconception. What you may not realize is that boundaries will actually cause you to become more comfortable in your skin from feeling safer, more respected, and allowing yourself to maintain healthy relationships going forward. Adding boundaries will be a welcomed practice once you get the hang of it and here are some tips for you to start implementing them into your daily life.
In the same sense of picking your battles, establishing your priorities in what you are trying to accomplish in your life will be beneficial in setting boundaries. Do you need to let others know that you, for now, cannot be anywhere alcohol is served? Do you need to move somewhere else? Do you feel like you need to be spending time doing other things than what someone else thinks you should be? Is someone bringing negativity into your space? Whatever the case may be, you should look at the incidents that are bothering you and figure out if a boundary needs to be set to make your quality of life better.
If you think you are overreacting or need someone to tell you if you are unresponsive to situations that are causing you grief, get a second opinion. Call your sponsor or a therapist to process whether a boundary is in order. When your emotional sobriety is out of whack, you could use an outside perspective to see more clearly. Accepting help in this area of boundary setting can help you to make better decisions than making them alone in the heat of the moment; or sweeping them under the rug thinking you would not have to deal with them at all.
Know when enough is enough. When someone is taking advantage of you in any sort of way, be confident in yourself to know the behavior they are displaying is not acceptable and show them you are willing to make the changes needed. No matter what has happened in your past, no one has the right, nor do you deserve, to be walked all over. The longer you wait to set boundaries, the more difficult it will be to execute a boundary at all. When you know it’s time, avail yourself to go to any lengths with your boundaries so that you can move forward in your recovery knowing that you are taking care of yourself in the best way possible.
Offering a full range of recovery and mental health services, Valiant Living offers "Expanded Recovery" to enrich our clients’ lives in mind, body, and spirit. Through evidence-based therapy options and the endless adventure of Colorado, Valiant fosters connection, encouraging clients to get connected to themselves, their peers, their families, and their higher power. With the power of recovery, clients are restored to full health and experience life-changing healing. Call us today for more information: 303-536-5463