Valiant Living Blog

How Do I Fall Back in Love with My Spouse in My Recovery?

Written by Valiant Living Recovery on Thursday, August 29th, 2019

The statement, “an alcoholic in his cups is an unlovely creature,” from the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous, page 16, rings true for many people who battle substance abuse. For someone who suffers an addiction means that they often turn into a completely different person under the influence of drugs and alcohol especially around those they are closest to. For those who are in a marital relationship, to move forward with such a fractured connection due to the different drunk and loaded personalities can be difficult, to say the least. 

Infidelity, verbal abuse, and financial difficulties are some of the main culprits of strained relationships and when alcohol and drugs are added to mix, these become an even bigger reality. Trust is essential in any relationship and when these types of situations occur, they break down the trust until it is nil. Not to mention, the lies and deceit that tend to happen with someone who is trying to hide the extent of their alcohol and drug abuse from their partner. Trying to mend all of these issues will take some time, but they are doable with some extensive effort and some sobriety. 

Work on yourself

Before you can fix anything in your marriage, you have to make changes in yourself first. Taking time to work on your steps to see past patterns and behaviors which are making your relationship toxic now, can help to adjust how you interact in the future. Understanding your part and what you can do to make things better going forward could make the difference you are hoping to fall in love all over again. 

Encourage them to work on themselves 

Even though your spouse may not have the problem, everyone that comes into contact with addiction suffers and gets sick. Your significant other needs an outlet to learn how to cope and comprehend that this is not their fault. If they do not get help, they will continue to live in the past while you are moving onward. They may no longer be able to differentiate between love and codependency and will need someone to help sort out their feelings.  

Substance abuse may cause your marriage to become rocky although there is a way out of the pain. Staying sober is the best thing you can do while also staying a work in progress. Your emotional sobriety can allow you to be a better example in your relationship and to make better decisions because if you want something that you have never had, you must do something you have never done. 

Offering a full range of recovery and mental health services, Valiant Living offers “Expanded Recovery” to enrich our clients’ lives in mind, body, and spirit. Through evidence-based therapy options and the endless adventure of Colorado, Valiant fosters connection, encouraging clients to get connected to themselves, their peers, their families, and their higher power. With the power of recovery, clients are restored to full health and experience life-changing healing. Call us today for more information: 303-536-5463