The Lord’s Prayer as a Daily Recovery Framework

Welcome & The Prayer Experiment 0:00

Drew PowellWelcome back to the Valiant Living Podcast. I'm your host, Drew Powell, and today's guest is one of my best friends in the entire world, Matt Smallbone. Matt is a pastor, a speaker, and a former touring musician. He's the author of a brand-new book called The Prayer Experiment: How Praying Like Jesus Realigns Everything. He actually spent an entire year praying the Lord's Prayer every single day, and today we're talking about why that ancient prayer still matters so deeply, especially in addiction recovery, where the Lord's Prayer is spoken in 12-step rooms around the world. We talk about surrender, daily dependence, forgiveness, unanswered prayer, and how prayer can move from performance into honest connection with God. If you want to grab a copy of Matt's book or learn more about today's episode, head to ValiantLiving.com/episode64. And don't forget, our next Third Thursday clinical roundtable is coming up soon — register at ValiantLiving.com/roundtable.

Drew PowellYou wrote this book out of personal need. In the last four years I've been in a lot of 12-step meetings where we pray the Lord's Prayer almost every meeting. I'd never really stopped and broken it down like you have. Where did this book come from?

Why Prayer Felt Hard 2:56

Matt SmallboneI'm a pastor, so a big part of my life is writing sermons. We were starting 2025 with 21 days of prayer and fasting and a seven-week series called 'Lord, Teach Us to Pray.' I was going to lead my young congregation in downtown Nashville through the Lord's Prayer, breaking it down one movement at a time. And I felt a lot of imposter syndrome, because the truth is I've loved Jesus for a very long time, but I've never felt very good at prayer. I've been more drawn to study, to thinking about the things of God.

Matt SmallbonePart of it was personality. Part of it was some undercooked theological ideas — like the sovereignty of God, this thought that God will do whatever he wants whenever he wants, which left me asking, why bother? And then we had a miscarriage, and there was an unanswered-prayer piece to it. I prayed pretty well in my teens and twenties — I enjoyed it, I felt close to God. But after we lost a baby in our thirties, I really stopped praying for the longest time.

Matt SmallboneJesus teaches two ways not to pray and then one way to pray. Don't pray like the Pharisees — giving a spiritual TED talk to be seen. And don't pray like a pagan — babbling lots of words to coerce God, as if getting the words right will trick him into doing it your way. On honest reflection, that described a fair share of my prayer life. So I committed, right then and there, that for the next twelve months I'd pray the Lord's Prayer exclusively and see what happened.

The Lord's Prayer Framework 7:12

Drew PowellPraying one prayer for twelve months sounds like a prison to me. I'd get two or three days in and quit. Tell me about that experience.

Matt SmallboneThe Lord's Prayer is easy enough for a toddler to memorize, but deep enough to keep a theologian engaged for life. What I've found is important is to pray each movement, pause, and pray for your own thing. Start with 'Our Father, who is in heaven' — God is as close as the air — and just sit there. Then 'hallowed be your name,' and you revere him before you ask for anything.

Matt SmallboneNext you submit your will: 'your kingdom come, your will be done.' Then you ask for your daily bread — the specific thing you need for the next 24 hours. Then you forgive. Jesus said every time you pray you should forgive and ask forgiveness. For the last year I've forgiven people by name several times a day. I used to carry around a bucket of unforgiveness and only deal with the easiest one when it got too heavy. Then 'lead us not into temptation,' which my favorite theologians read as 'don't test me beyond what I can handle' — help me pass the test. And you finish with spiritual protection. Because you use it as a framework, it never gets boring. That's the surprise twist.

Drew PowellWhen you pass that liquor store and you know you'll be tempted — 'help me pass the test, help me keep driving.' That works.

Honesty, Discipline & Joy 14:34

Drew PowellWhen you stood up and basically said, 'I'm not good at prayer,' that hit me. What gave you the safety as a pastor to say that?

Matt SmallboneI learned a long time ago that telling heroic stories of faith doesn't move a room. In this cultural moment, people hearing from someone with my job title that we're not perfect is exactly what they need. But you can't just say 'I suck at prayer' and do nothing about it. By the time I confessed it, I'd already done a year's worth of work.

Matt SmallboneFollowing Jesus is about staying close — the vine and the branches. You abide through spiritual practices, and I've learned I can only add one at a time. It's like friends who love CrossFit: they didn't love it the first month, but they're not still going three years later because they hate it. You commit to a practice until it fills you with joy. Prayer became that for me. You've got to pray as you are, not as you want to be.

Father Wounds & God's Nearness 22:02

Drew PowellIn recovery there's a lot of shame and a lot of messy feelings around the word 'father.' What would you say to the person who can't even get into the prayer because their relationship with dad is so wonky?

Matt SmallboneFor at least half of people, that's the biggest challenge. Remember that when Jesus says to pray to 'our Father,' he isn't describing a glamorized version of your own dad. This is the father of the prodigal son — the one who runs to you after you've hit rock bottom. Even if you had the world's best dad, that's nothing compared to the Father in heaven. So it may be as simple as praying, 'Our Father in heaven, who is nothing like my dad at all, hallowed be your name.'

Matt SmallboneNo observant Jew in the first century called God 'Abba.' The scholars I trust say it's essentially what a little kid calls their dad — 'Daddy.' I think the disciples watched Jesus pray that way and said, 'I don't have a category for this. Teach us to pray.'

Drew PowellThe closest I can get to understanding how to approach God is how I'd want my own kids to come to me.

The Power of “Our” 28:23

Matt SmallboneThe pronouns matter. It's not 'my Father,' it's 'our Father.' It's 'give us today our daily bread.' We live in a hyper-individualistic moment, so we read 'our Father' and process it as 'my Father.' We go to God as an only child.

Matt SmallboneHere's where it really matters. Say I'm praying about a hard lunch with my own dad. When I pray 'our Father,' I realize you are my father and my dad's father — you've got two kids to take care of here. So instead of 'God, smite them,' I'm praying, 'You love us the same, you care equally for both of us.' Praying 'our Father' sets you up for win-win prayers. And unanswered prayer becomes far less disappointing, because you've already submitted your will.

Role Play: Praying Through a Gambling Spiral 34:31

Drew PowellWalk us through how someone deep in a gambling addiction — chasing losses, full of shame, dreading a hard conversation with their spouse — could actually pray this.

Matt SmallboneI'd pray: 'Our Father, who is close.' And I'd pause there, because I'm feeling shame, I'm about to tell my wife something that could end us, and I feel alone. But you're my Father, my wife's Father, my kids' Father — and you're the kind of Father who runs toward me when I make mistakes like this. 'Hallowed be your name.' Then 'your kingdom come, your will be done' — a posture of surrender, because I'm drowning here.

Matt SmallboneThen daily bread, but notice what changes: I'm no longer praying for the $32,000 to put it all on red. I'm praying, 'Give me the courage to be fully honest with my wife today, and help me not make this worse.' Then forgiveness — name something specific, own it, and forgive someone else along the way. Then 'lead us not into temptation' — don't let this break us. And finally spiritual protection — there's an enemy who comes to steal, kill, and destroy; help me stand. Amen.

Role Play: Praying Through Betrayal 41:18

Drew PowellWe have so many betrayed partners and family members listening. How does someone who's been hurt pray this?

Matt SmallboneLet's say it's a spouse, Mary, praying for her husband. 'Our Father — you're my dad and his dad. I'm so hurt and so sad I don't know if I want to do this anymore. And honestly, I hate him right now and I hate what he's done to us. But you're our Father, and I know you care for him as much as you care for me.'

Matt SmallboneThen she submits her will, and asks for the specific thing — maybe just to walk out of today's therapy session 'net positive somehow.' Then forgiveness, including asking God to forgive her own toxic anger, and beginning the long, daily work of forgiving her husband — which is different from reconciliation, and never means abandoning boundaries. Then 'help us pass this test,' and finally protection: 'Give me a thick skin and a soft heart. Protect our family. Help us get through this.' Amen.

Drew PowellEven as you say it, I feel the nearness of God in that scenario. It's transformative.

What Matt Hopes You Take Away 47:10

Drew PowellIt's newly released and doing really well. What's your hope and prayer for this book?

Matt SmallboneThe line on the back is 'a book for people who aren't very good at prayer.' There are a lot of people who love Jesus and don't really know how to pray, because we've settled for less powerful prayers — 'God, thank you for today.' If we grasp this, it's a game changer for our faith.

Matt SmallboneTo my friends in recovery: you're my heroes. The people who really get into recovery and church go from your most difficult friends to the greatest people you'll ever meet. If you stick with the twelve steps, it is the greatest thing. And I'd gently encourage you to consider taking some of the mystery out of the 'higher power' language. If life is really dark, you're not as far away as you think — probably 30, 60, or 90 days from some serious, life-breaking insight. The God of the Bible is running toward you, even if that seems unimaginable.

Resources, Roundtable & Closing 52:32

Drew PowellMatt, thank you for being on the podcast. I believe this conversation will help a lot of people who feel spiritually stuck, exhausted, or unsure how to begin praying again. Maybe that's the beauty of the Lord's Prayer — it reminds us that prayer doesn't have to be impressive, it just has to be honest. Pick up Matt's book, The Prayer Experiment, and find all the links at ValiantLiving.com/episode64. And register for our Third Thursday clinical roundtable at ValiantLiving.com/roundtable. Healing is possible, connection matters, and you don't have to walk this road alone. We'll see you next time.